Marriage !!

It's 1655hrs, sipping a cup of herbal tea and looking at my wedding picture in my living room, I smile. With that smile I decided I will share some facts about being married. Before I begin.....

DISCLAIMER: These views and thoughts are based on my personal experience and the experience of people in my circle. 

I got married on a beautiful, cold and rainy evening on the 12th Dec 2019, to the man I had been in love with for a year, and since the day we met and decided to have a life together, it just felt perfect. When two people decide to get married in our country, the first things that strike everyone around is the outfit they will need for every event, how many events will happen, who all are to be invited and the list goes on. Strangely, no-one discusses how to prepare the bride and groom for the kind of adventurous ride marriage is going to be. 

Today after 4 years of being married I can tell you, marriage is a special experience and an individual couple experience. Every couple has their own journey, but there are some ground rules which have been there and will exist till marriages exist. 

1. Understanding 

It happens when we decide to listen to each other than just hear. Listening creates space to respond but hearing makes one react. (Read it once more to appreciate it :D) 

2. Acceptance

It happens when both the partners just smile and hug each other in their lowest moment without any ifs and buts. Being Judgy is out of the window in this relationship.

3. Trust & Faith

It is something that develops over time. Both people need to be patient, as every person has their own pace of opening up, irrespective of it being a love marriage or an arranged marriage. It begins with trust and goes onto becoming faith. Be kind and patient with one another and you will get there. 

4. Love

Ever individual has their own love language, some may say 10 times a day that they love you and some may say it once in a year, if the above three are aligned then this will happen on its own. 

Last 4 years have been the most adventurous 4 years of my life, and I cherish it. It has made me realise some of my inner strengths (same for my husband), made me more kind and giving. It has made me realise that Love is more than PDA. It is individually enjoying a party where you went together, but having an eye on each other. It is being there for each other telepathically. It is laughing on unsaid jokes that only you both understand. It is being brutally honest to each other for the best.

In todays time, where patience is fleeting, love is only on social media, understanding means proving our own point and trust doesn't exist, marriages have become an experience, which if not liked is over within a night. 

Remember, when you feel hurt by your partner, they are humans too and tend to make mistakes, take space, give space, take a breath and hug it till you can understand it. The only thing I have ever believed from a movie is "Jadoo ki Jhappi". And when the magic of hug works, always communicate and be honest, it may hurt in the moment and make one feel a lot of things, but this honesty creates trust and that stays forever. 

Marriage is only two in a team irrespective of the game. 

Hope you find your permanent roommate to throw pillows at and share a laughter with !!

"A good marriage is where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal" - Unknown